Take the time to Find your Voice

Give yourself permission, give yourself an A.  It's okay to cry, it's okay to fly.

Being an independent person forces you to be strong and determined and responsive to the demands of life.  In the process, you become outside in, always thinking about your demands and pressures from the outside world - in order to survive and be independent.  You forget to listen to yourself, you forget to feel sorry for yourself, you forget to be vulnerable, you forget about you.  Oh yes, there is a "little" you under all the rush and clamor and bustle and stress of the world.  Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to pity yourself, allow yourself to be you.  It's okay to cry.

 Being a modest person makes you hesitate to celebrate your successes.  Your achieving nature, your perfectionist attention to detail, makes you feel incomplete and that you have not achieved your goals.  Stop and smell the roses, you are a success, you are a winner.  Think about all the many things that you have accomplished and savor them for a moment.  Acknowledge the successes, celebrate the achievements.  Give yourself an A, it's okay to fly.

It takes a build-up, not a breakthrough.  Like the tortoise, "slow and steady wins the race".  It's true!
Ahoogah, chugachugchug....a personal note of reflection for myself from a story that I used to read to my son when he was two or three years old.

I find that this process of becoming vulnerable and acknowledging me in my authentic form, allows me to self-discover and slowly, shyly but surely, my voice starts to feel heard in my head.  It slowly feels validated and loved.  I feel good.  Feel the love for yourself, strange as it sounds, feel the love for yourself.  It starts here, your journey has begun.  You are recharged and rejuvenated and ready to face up to the challenges of the world from the inside out.

I doubt that this blog is ready by anyone other than me and maybe my wife sometimes now that she knows about it.  If you do read this far, please do take a moment to comment.  Thank you!  I am grateful for this beautiful world and I would love to share and collaborate and engage.  I would like to live as though there is no tomorrow and that today is when I will do what is most meaningful to me.  Thank you for reading this far.  Share the love, feel the joy, It's okay to cry, it's okay to fly.

Healing Gate

Materialize a portal, magically arrive at the doors of heaven,  and walk through the gate of healing.  It seems as though this concept of arriving at a magical destination ("heaven") is prevalent in many cultures.

Technology makes it possible to create such a Healing Gate almost at will.  In some ways, if we look around us, we have "heaven" around us.  We walked through the portals of civilized society and through achievement we surrounded ourselves with clues of "heaven".

And yet, in our minds we chose to find reason not to feel as though we have arrived at a beautiful destination.  Every time we take a moment to feel gratitude, we ought to realize that our generation of mankind has found a kind of "heaven" on earth.

I pray that we do not spoil it for future generations.  Let us cherish our natural resources and use them wisely and nuture these resources for the future of life on this earth.  Let us show reverence for life.  Let us love, care, and be kind to life.  Each morning, let us light a candle, say a prayer, walk through a healing gate, and arrive at humanity.

Good Habits

I was reading an excerpt by William James called "Making Habits Work for You."

He said "The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automation, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their proper work.  There is no more miserable person than one in whom nothing habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work, are subjects of deliberation.  Half the time of such a man goes to deciding or regretting matters which out to be so ingrained in him as practically not exist for his consciousness at all."

As I was reading this excerpt, it reminded me of a rule that I had written on a large 5in. by 7in. index card about ten years ago.  I have now pulled out this card from a drawer in my desk and it is sitting on my desktop now.  It is from Og Mandino's "The Greatest Salesman in the World" - "I WILL FORM GOOD HABITS AND BECOME THEIR SLAVE"

Parenting is about inculcating good habits in their children.  At an early age, if a child is taught habits that he or she will do automatically, this will set the stage for better development of their mind.

Brush your teeth, floss your teeth, wash your mouth after eating sweets, all of these are habits that maintain dental hygiene.  Read the newspaper every morning, listen to the news on the radio or watch the news on the TV, discuss the news with friends, are going habits for you as a citizen of the world.  Exercise every morning, take a bath, eat a healthy breakfast, are all excellent for our physical fitness and hygiene.

These are habits that most of us have developed by observation in the morning.  What about later in the day?  Usually it is your job and the habits of work.  If you are at home, you need to develop habits for the day.  When I was in boarding school, every part of the day was regimented.  These were good habits but I had bad associations and when I "grew up"  I shunned the habits.  It has taken me all these years that indeed my parents sent me to a good school that taught me good habits that were supposed to be skills to help me have a good life.  I have spent many years resenting the discipline and feeling bad about being sent to boarding school and not maintaining closeness with my family.

Aha!  Lost closeness can be an outcome of discipline and habits.  I see this happen around me.  In the habits of morning rituals such as exercise and meditation, my father-in-law does not make time to talk with his wife and garner the relationship.  For all their many years of marriage, they seem to be quite estranged and unable to relate to each others.  Did good habits get in the way of their relationship?

Intensify awareness

How hard are you focusing are your intent?  If not hard enough, why not?  Is it a lack of confidence?

What if you were sure that you could achieve your intent?  Would you focus harder and be fearless in its pursuit?

Intensify your focus, and bear down on your problems to solve them.

Off-court training

Any sport requires fitness training, as proven by the pros.  The same is true of the brain.  Unless you are stretching the mind in the quiet moments, you find it difficult to get results from your mind when you are stressed.

Get into the habit of doing brain fitness exercises.  Doesn't have to be very complicated.  As a starter, in one minute list as many words as you can that start with the letter g.

Please be patient

"Please be patient with your life, it's only morning and you have still to live the day" in "Tis the Morning of my Life" by The Bee Gees.

Look around you and feel grateful for what you have in the present.   This morning I am grateful for the cool breeze, the birds chirping in the trees, my mowed backyard, the birds feeding on the feeders, the fun dinner we had with Maria and Mike, the clock's chime and gongs striking six am.  I am grateful for my computer, my ability to type, and to say some words.

I am grateful that I am able to be present in my living this morning.  I am present in the moment and cherishing the beauty that surrounds me.  This is a new day, and new things are about to happen.  New life is in the making; I chose to live and thrive not just survive.

Permission

Give yourself permission to be happy.  Give yourself an A!

Most of the time, when I am happy, I find myself wondering whether I deserve to be so happy.  Then I start finding reasons to not be happy and pretty soon I am unhappy.  Strange how that works.

Happiness just does not last as long as we would like because of the cascade of thoughts that follow the feeling of happiness.  Feeling looks to thought for validation and this is a set up for failure.  Thought does not know how to validate feeling.  Thought does not understand feeling!

Hang in there

Don't feel like it?  That's okay, you are allowed!  You are allowed to make mistakes.  Allow yourself to make mistakes.  You are fine!  The world is totally unfair and nasty.  You have to be nice to yourself.  Allow yourself to let go and forgive yourself.  Be gentle to yourself.  Around the corner there is something wonderful about to happen. 

Identify bad habits and break 'em

Time wasters are bad habits.  Take a few moments to list three of your time wasters on a small piece of paper.  Now burn that paper as a symbolism of getting rid of those bad habits.  On another piece of paper write down, three good habits that you would like to form.  Read these habits as affirmations each day.  Carry the paper with you at all times!

Flywheel

Habit is like a flywheel, it is hard to inculcate at the start.  The more you make it turn, the easier it gets.  Once it becomes easier, it is easier to do and becomes automatic.  The idea is to make a habit out of good practices.  Make a habit of best practices......hmmm..... good for organizations too.

I think it was in "Good to Great" that Jim Collins talks about the flywheel effect.  It takes about seven years for the good companies to become great.  Once the flywheel is turning well, the organization takes off!  I have to re-read this portion of the book.  I think I have it on CDs so I will take it in my car today.

Shatter me

Break bad habits by replacing them with good ones.  Make your habits your friends instead of your enemies.  Good habits make us move towards our goals, bad habits prevent us from reaching our goals.

The sooner we realize the difference between the habits that allow us to reach our goals and the habits that prevent us, the sooner we activate our success mechanism.  The success mechanism is a series of automatic responses that allow us to access our higher powers of the mind.

Indecision about the small stuff reduces our time available for the important stuff.  Time is precious, use it for the important stuff!

Slow thinking morning

For some reason, I awoke with a very positive frame of mind.  My thoughts are very present and in the moment and I feel at one with the world.  My coffee is weak and that does not bother me though I do notice it.  It is important to notice and observe and accept and feel okay with it.

Maybe that it is the feeling of success, is to be okay with everything just as it is.  No thought of the future and what needs to get done.  Or maybe that is a slowing down of thinking that will help me tackle the day to come and solve problems as they arise.  So is that confidence?  Yes it is.

On this slow thinking morning, I am feeling confident about my abilities to face up to the world.  I am proud of me and I will face the world with my chin up.

Multiple Boards

Life is often like playing multiple chess boards.  All you have to do is make one move at a given time on each board.  As long as you focus on the board in front of you and follow the tactical rules of chess, the plan for each board develops and within that board the nuances of the game will unfold.  Each board unfolds differently depending upon the response of the other player.

Often, a shoddy beginning (opening) to the venture (game) creates obstacles to later move.  If you are a grandmaster, you take precautions in the opening to avoid difficult situations in the middle game.  Same is true of strategy in life.  If you begin a journey with a good understanding of how the subsequent steps may develop then you prepare for those situations in advance and position yourself accordingly.

On each board, you strategize during the opening and then your next moves become tactics dependent upon the responses.  As long as you are paying full attention to the board that you are on at present, you are likely to be able to make a decent move on each board and therefore make good moves in progression on all the boards.

If you confuse the boards, you get into a tizzy and mess everything up.  Do not get overwhelmed by multiple boards in life.  Focus on one at a time.  

Life in Layers

We seem to have to gently lift one layer in order to access another layer.  Most of time, we are not even sure that there is another layer.  Like transparent Scotch tape that is too thin to see, we have to guess that there is a layer and start gently scraping the surface.  Not too hard, just in case there is no other layer, and we end up scratch the original surface and damage it.

Hard to know when we reach another layer in a relationship.  Suddenly there is a breakthrough and we feel the world move.  These are the choice points in our lives that happen when we are genuine and feel that what we have to do is the only thing which is right.  No second guessing the decision, you make the choice, thinking it will help one person and that the other person will just have to accept it and hope that you will have both relationships hold strong at the end.

I forgive unconditionally, will you do so with me?  I hope so.  Life is meant for love not grudge and regret.  Life is beautiful, it is up to you and me to appreciate it.  There is a layer that you have not seen yet, look for it.  Once you find it, the magic will be yours too.

Journeying forth

Felt like coming back to my blog this morning.  Feeling comfortable in this space after a long time.  The last two years were quiet on this front and I am opening myself to this space again.  Not focused on cohesive frameworks yet, just enjoying the thrill of being in this space again.  I love being in the zone of writing and expressing myself and discovering myself in the process.

Writing is a journey to discover me.  I have to think of myself as another person when I write and this helps me to appreciate me better.  My focus of attention is the tapping of my fingers unconsciously revealing the inner workings of my mind.  Journey forth and enjoy the adventure of me.  

From Twitter to Blog

I was working on increasing my "followers" on Twitter and came across a tweet that reminded me about the importance of having a practice for writing.  It reminded me of "Morning Pages" that Julia Cameron recommends in her book "The Artists Way".

This morning, I determined to start writing as soon as my coffee was ready and now I am here at my desk, sitting on my exercise ball and typing into a blog on my Macbook Pro.  It is very pleasing just to be here and doing this activity.  It makes me feel alert and in the moment.  My coffee tastes great too!

On my wall, in my room, I have written, "Luckily the world is absolutely full of interesting things to do!"  This is an exciting time in our lives when we can cross from visual, to sound, to written word, to conversation.

Let's not forget smell, taste, and touch.  The digital world has not taken over smell, taste, and touch.  I cannot touch my mother, nor can I touch my great-niece, through Skype.  I cannot get a full feel of them through digital media.  I still have to be there to enjoy them with my whole brain and all of my feelings.  The gentle touch of our hands, the cuddle, the whiff of scent, the after-taste of a kiss on my lips.  I cannot reproduce these through digital media.

We get so much stimulation of simulation, lol, where did that come from?  Our two senses of sight and sound are inundated and saturated with triggers that create expectations for the other three senses.  Only to disappoint them.  Two tempt the three and leave them bereft of closure.  No wonder we have a sense of incompleteness in our lives.  The crescendo of visual and auditory stimuli leave us longing for the stimuli to our other three senses and a deep sense of longing for the wholeness of the experience.

Memory can fill in a few gaps.  Our brains are miraculous and can do fill in the sensory gaps.  The brain does not know the difference between a fantasy and a reality.  I could pretend to be on vacation in my mind and actually feel like I was on a vacation.  I could pretend to have sex with a gorgeous woman and actually feel like I did have sex with her.  Really?  Can I really derive the full benefits of those physical experiences through my imagination alone?

I am not trying to make "sense" of my lack of stimulation to the other senses.  Remember that this kind of like a morning page and I am doing this to exercise my writing skills without inhibition.  I am exposing my raw thoughts in a blog that I will make public for those who "stumble upon" my blog.

Interestingly, I am confident enough in my writing skills that I am not worried about judgement and the media of the blogosphere leaves me talking to an anonymous audience.  Maybe then, this is the ideal way to throw my thoughts out into the universe.

Julia Cameron recommended three pages for morning pages, what is that equivalent to in a blog like this one?  Before I close this blog, I would like to acknowledge the author who reminded me of morning pages.  For that, I will need to open another tab and look in my tweets.  Wait a moment, I will be back with that information from the other tab momentarily.

Her name is Arielle Ford, see link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arielle-ford/fitting-your-author-life-_b_1199107.html?ref=tw

I am following her on Twitter now.  Thank you Arielle Ford for reminding me of a practice!  

Whitewater rafting

If your efforts feel like whitewater rafting, be glad. It means that you are doing something right. Life is at its best when you feel somewhat out of control. You become focused and subconscious strengths take over.